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Saturday, May 23, 2015

Today - 26 months 2 weeks 2 days
Little sweet pea - 33 weeks 4 days 

My little man who showed his face yesterday after so many visits

Just before I went up to the clinic I was telling my mum that this baby moved so much that I am afraid he might be breech after staying head down for so long. True enough, he is at breech position for now. Heads up and feet and the bottom to be exact. Some things are better left unsaid in order not to jinx them. Don't even think coz thinking may just jinx things. 

When Dr Chin said oh baby is now breech, I cried. I was upset and disappointed. Like the previous failed oscar scan I started to blame myself. Like was the baby angry with me for him being an unplanned baby or that I wasn't as happy as I was when I first know about my first pregnancy? Or that I didn't eat enough that the baby was angry with me. Then I asked myself what did I do that I made the baby breech. The massage? Lazing on bed with legs tilted while watching tv? The lack of praying? Strained from too much housewrk? Carried heavy stuff? Always in angry mood? Too harsh to his sister Olivia? Or what did I eat wrongly? Sometimes things happen for a reason. His decision to be breech may be a sign. I did thought if it would be better that I make a choice now to do a CSect to save more than 4k in case vbac doesn't turn out well. Then I was also stressed that what if I can't go into spontaneous labour? Will baby ended up with no good horoscopic timing? Also, baby is 2.6kg now. Kind of big if he continues to grow this fast making vbac difficult. Then I blame myself now for not being able to let things be and to take things as they come. Sigh. 

Anyways, I feel better today. Sort of accepting some things that are fated to be and things doesn't always turn out to be the way you want. My kids are stubborn. They want to be breech and there's nothing I can do about them. They choose how they want to make their way out to this world. Hence, the earliest scheduled CSect date would be a month from now.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Today - 26 months 1 week 6 days
Little sweet pea - 33 weeks 1 day

@33 weeks now, feeling extremely heavy and I have problem putting on my running shoes. When I bend, I barely can reach my toes. However I don't feel like suspending my membership for the fact I know it's impossible to be back once baby is out. No maid, mum stays far and I hope I dun rely on excessive pumping otherwise, making going out tougher. 

I have problems walking because of the strong Braxton hicks + big bump + breathless me. Also, baby moves a lot even when I am walking. Then a lady was who giving our flyers was telling me if I am due soon because my tummy has dropped. I said I still have some time to go and she gave me a shocking expression and said sorry and asked me to take care. She's not the first. The moment I entered my final trimester, some people asked the same as well. Seemed like I didn't achieve the "look slim while being preg" look. Anyway, I got a shock too. Kris asked me to pack my stuff soon but I said I haven even started buying. Er hmm..

As the time draws near, I reminded myself many times I need to re-org the kids cupboard. The weather is killing me, the cooking and cleaning takes up time, spending time with Oli is precious, attending gym is a must and meeting up with frds is to gain sanity. Hence, the delay in doing stuff for baby. We will be doing shopping for him this Friday after our gynae check. 

Oli has been getting very stubborn. Ok, which kid is not. I don't know how to describe the degree of her stubbornness here. Her fiery temper and her meltdowns have been terrible. The only good thing she did stop and listen to my reasoning with her but it's only with me and she exceeded the boundary with daddy. I am trying to do lots of pep talk with her on her behavior before her sibling comes along such that she don't feel why things only change when baby brother is here. 

Yesterday I saw a FB post from a friend who baked a loaf of bread for her baby. Soon, comments came in like why she has the time to do so and she should be spending time with her gal. I was angry when I read the nasty comment because I didn't know a mummy baking bread can leave such judgmental comment. Eh, my mummy frd is not even out partying or having holiday without her kid. Even so, a mum needs to gain sanity as well right? The mum is baking for her kid, mind you! 

That's the problem. When you post something on a social media, people judge you. After becoming a mum, I realise people loves to judge mums. Worse, it comes from other mums. Crazy. 
Probably, all my posts get judged too, like for example the earlier potty train topic would have got judge for no reason but I don't care. Anyway, my blog is so low profile that some of my close friends doesn't even know. I don't mean to hide but I write is for my own memory sake. 

Oli having her fav most sinful dessert, choc ice cream. Okay, maybe I get judged here too for feeding unhealthy stuff to Oli. Hahaha. 

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Today - 26 months 1 week
Little sweet pea - 32 weeks 2 days

I went for my pre natal massage today. It was like one of the best 90mins I had in this whole pregnancy. I felt light. However, the back strain from the right waist down is still here. I shouted in pain earlier when my right leg fell off from the bed. I nearly cried. It was really painful. 

Oli at 26 months plus is still not potty trained or even on its way. So what if she's on her diapers despite the constant diaper rash. I rather she eliminates her pee and poo freely for now then to brain train her to control herself. So meanwhile she just has to bear with this major diaper rash saga. I did think if it helps if she absent herself from school for a week such that I know when it's time for a diaper change rather than following the sch schedule. Oli's skin is so sensitive which at times I really I don't know what to do. She does inform us after she poo which I felt its good enough. Sometimes she doesn't say because she wants to play and didn't want to be disturbed. 

Potty train is not a competition. No one is going to ask you when were you off diapers 20 years down the road. So what if Oli is still on her diapers at this point. I felt it's perfectly alright. 

Taken last night during her post dinner snack time. She saw the choc biscuit that belonged to my mil's caregiver on the table and insisted she wants a piece. She spilt them off and licked the choc creme, exactly what I loved to do when I was young. No choc please, it's too heaty la.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Today - 26 months 5 days
Little sweet pea - 32 weeks

So we are less than 2 months away for the birth of our little sweet pea. I felt like we aren't ready because we really haven gotten the things up. Like transforming the cot bed, the shopping stuff and more importantly, Oli is no longer our only child. I know it's not right to think this way and it may even be unfair for little sweet pea to feel any less. Hopefully we can be very good parents for both kids. 

At 32 weeks, I feel so heavy. The aches are really making walking and sleeping tough. 

Someone is trying to be funny!

Monday, May 11, 2015

Today - 26 months 4 days
Little sweet pea - 31 weeks 6 days

It was a very tiring weekend because we were out of our own house and were spending more time with my sis. I had difficulties walking and Braxton hicks were experienced a few times yesterday. The sudden robbing of my breath also, making me feel so sick. When we got home and when I finally slept only at 2am, the pelvic pain was quite terrible. 

We went to Westgate for our so-called last lunch before my sis flew. My mum tried to put Oli to sleep while we were still having our lunch but she insisted to get out of her stroller to play at the outdoor playground, making my mum so stressful having to take care of the stroller and trying to keep up with her. And, she wanted to take the zoomoov rides. 

So my sis is finally back to UK for good after 6 years here. We sort of prepared for her move since last November when she started her job interview. We miss her for sure and thankful that she has been such a doting aunty to Oli. 

Thursday, May 07, 2015

Today - 26 months!
Little sweet pea - 31 weeks 2 days

I went to visit the Dr Chin today and fortunately, baby continues to be heads down. Today's visit feels more real because I was given the pre-admission form, signed the vbac consent form, paid deposit and have a good read at her charges. If natural delivery succeeds, I guess I need to pay ard 12k of hospital bill and if an emergency CSect is required, it may just snowballed to almost 20k. This is based on my own estimates with prior experience on my elective CSect bill. It's really time to make provisions. 

Also, visitation to the clinic is fortnightly and the next round we go, we will be doing the admission with Gleneagles. With Oli around, let's not too last minute and pack my hospital bag by 36 weeks. The last round, the hospital bag was still unseen by 37weeks! This round I have decided and bought a set of clothes for discharge. I mean for baby boy. I didn't even plan anything and anyhow grab a set of clothes for Oli then. So much for ppl telling me first time mom is very kiasu but I was so chill then. I think I isn't so chill this round. Probably when you have a toddler who is still constantly changing, things can get tricky. 

Today's visit was to check in detail the baby size and weight. Currently sweet pea is about 1.8kg. A nice size for now and if it grows steadily, it shouldn't be a big baby for a vbac criteria. We talked about the exercises I am doing and Dr Chin gave recommendations on what to do in the gym. Swimming is still the best but because of hygiene and the hassle (my hair!), I am skipping swimming altogether. Also, Dr Chin advised me of not choosing a horoscopic timing as of yet because we can still see how things go. True enough, I don't want to jinx anything. Somehow as time draws closer, I am more open to even if vbac doesn't work, a CSect is fine. Somehow, there will be a solution for Oli's care. Keeping positive. 

Now let's talk about my toddler who turns 26months today. It has been horrible 2 nights already that she's throwing a fit over trivial matters. Today was worse, she got it from both her daddy and mummy and got beaten as well. We are thinking how to salvage a situation like this. We can't be scolding and beating her everyday. It pains us to do so but at the same time we really do not want to spoil her. 

Good things about her is that she's been easier to feed. Less fussy with food also. She makes her own bed every morning, unpack her school bag (though she may left out some stuffs), sent her clothes to laundry basket after her evening bath and throws her diapers on her own. Teachers commented she's less grouchy and hence less rolling and creating a storm on the floor. However, she needs to command her friends less! Haha. She loves to order her friends around. 

She sings a lot, both English and mandarin songs! Her current bathroom song is mister sun and she will draw her own version of sun on the bathroom glass panel while I am soaping her. Bedtime and nap time song is 泥娃娃 and when it rains or when the sky is dark, she sings "rain rain go away, come again another day. Oli wants to play". Randomly she sings her 一闪一闪亮晶晶”。While I have zero expectations on her ABC, it seems like she's lagging behind because her school has started on letterland already. As for counting, she's up to No.13 but having difficulty in pronouncing 11 & 12. 

I guess that's about it. Be good my gal! 

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Today - 25 months 4 weeks 1 day
Little sweet pea - 31 weeks

Look at my expanded legs!!! Grew 4cm for bump size in a month and that's about 34 weeks in my first pregnancy vs 31 weeks now. Weighed myself and I can't believe my eyes, fat die me. 

This is one of the dishes I prepared for dinner. Just when I was about to start to fried the pork ribs, Oli came up to me and asked for a hug and then she wants me to carry. So we sat on a stool and she sat on my lap with her head resting on my chest. Sounds so lovely but it was a storm after that. She cried and jumped on me while I was carrying her. For no reason or rather I feel she only wants my companion. Serious meltdown for 30 mins and my caregiver finally managed to bring her out for a walk. Before the carry saga, everything went fine. She ate the dragonfruit on her own and even help me to juice the fruits. Then she stood around me and talked to herself. Then I don't know what happened.