Olivia Fok

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Friday, July 01, 2016

Olivia - 39 months 3 weeks 3 days 
Owen - 1 year 1 day

First day of July 2016.

First day of the long week without school. 

We didn't waste any time today. 

First, start off with a simple request from my 3yo - to playground.

Then we walked to the train station to buy my breakfast and her morning snack. 

Went home and it was almost 945am. Bathe both and prepared lunch then put the brother to sleep but failed and he only napped for 5 mins. Hence, poor feeding at lunch. 

By 1250pm, both were down for naps for slightly more than 2 hours and I gladly joined them because taking care of 2 kids can be very taxing.

When he kids woke up, tried to give them banana and both decided that banana is the worst fruit ever. Ok fine, prepared dinner to pack for our outing later. We left home around 450pm to marina barrage. 

We left around 6pm and went to Starbucks to feed them their packed dinner while waiting for daddy to knock off. 

Long day but well spent with daddy juggling with both while I clean up myself.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Olivia - 39 months 3 weeks 2 days
Owen - 1 year old

Our baby is one today. 

This time 11am I've finished my last meal of the day and was fasting for a scheduled delivery later. Disappointed as I could be, I accepted this was the best way to get you out of this world with the lowest risk among methods of delivery. 

Both deliveries, as much as not ideal, not what I planned for truly reflects how life it is because things don't always happen the way you want it to be. 

When you are safely out to this world, nothing matters.. As in be it csect, natural, forcep or whatever.. All these doesn't matter anymore. 

This one year has been bittersweet. We came so far where sleeping is concern, eczema, allergies, health and all the nitty gritty a baby would have been. Where you ain't an easy peasy, you are still our sweetheart, nothing in the world I would want to exchange for. You are just awesome just because you are my baby.

I know inevitably you have been compared to your sister but in life, it's a hard truth. What I want you to know is, be happy just the way you are now. Rule yourself on your own like each human is unique on their own though both of you are siblings. Like what most people say, same same but different. 

Breastfeeding. I don't have a specific deadline to end this business but I would love to wean you off those comfort suckling that it's affecting us. It doesn't give both of us quality sleep. It seemed like I don't mind the lack of sleep because your mum here has won the best stamina mum of the year already such that I do not need to have sleep to function. 

I feel it's time to move on (just) a little but I know how fleeting these moments are when one day I  I look back, 1 year or 2 years of breastfeeding ain't long afterall actually.

What I would miss most is each time you nurse, we hold our fingers together. I don't know when we are doing this for the last time but I know my heart will break when such a day should come. Omg, it's kinda scary to even imagine such a day. 

I don't know what will you think of me as your mum, but I know you definitely love me now. 

Today, you turn 1. I wish a future you filled with tears, laughter, contentment, happiness and much more like a life should be. Life, it should be, gets better with time. Grow up well. 

Happy Birthday, my son. I always keep the babyness of you deep in my heart. 

Tuesday, June 07, 2016

Olivia - 39 months
Owen - 11 months 1 week 

Hello to my funny 39 month old gal! These days she really loves to say "you're so funny", "you silly billy". 39 months and needed an afternoon nap to unwind herself if not we expect meltdowns like 2 weeks ago. Was a little horrible. When she can't fall asleep fast enuff, you know she needs lots of "pattern" before she sleeps. The picture above is something different from the norm. She kicked her daddy from the mattress and laid her swaddle blanket and put her fluff friends to sleep first. 

Thanks to the Frozen coloring book that was flown all the way from UK. She can spend her time alone on her table with the book. She also displayed her coloring skills by keeping her colors within the spaces provided and not going beyond the lines. 

We celebrated Mother's Day in school and we did yoga together, gave me a good massage and had snacks together.

You did an artwork for me and u were so proud of it. 

You have yet to glide on your scooter perfectly because your lazy parents didn't make any effort to teach u so.

Still a daddy's gal. No doubt about it.

You dressed yourself on that day and because it was a rainy morning you request a cardi over your dress. 

Friday, June 03, 2016

It has been a tough week. Maid left suddenly. She told me her mum was hospitalized at 1030am and we sent her off to airport around 1pm for her flight home. She won't be coming back. So which means, maid hunt is here again. Every single time I am (read: not we are) held hostage by maids. Every single time I tell myself this is the last chance I am giving to this Fok family but yet again every single one, including my own husband ignored the last chances many times. 

I said before. My life entails every single person out there to be happy irregardless how I feel. Sometimes I feel so small because I even need to make a maid happy such that she doesn't suddenly quit on us because there's no lead time allowed for my situation. See what happen now? 

Everytime I want to air my grievances I get rebutted to the extend my grievances have been accumulating overnight. They are lucky because my hands are so full now with my 2 kids that I don't have the energy or time to kick a fuss, like bang a drum to make all listen to me. When such a day comes, it could have meant I have lost myself. I think I have already lost myself because I am not happy. I think I can easily walk out of current life if I have no kids. I used to disagree with my mum that kids are the ones who hold a family together because then I felt a mum's self should come first. Apparently, my mum is right. For the first time I agree with her. Next time I will write down what my mum's approach in parenting differs from mine and I hope she won't be right. If she is, I may just fall into depression. 

I guess "others" envy I have a maid at home. I remember "others" told me this, "you have a maid what, you can do this...." Then probably I was stupid. The cleverer me (apparently not) now think back and felt it was outright sarcastic. If I was cleverer then, I might have said, "if you want, you can have the maid and the...." So, you see, no one understands the situation because people thought as long as you have maid, you are a tai tai. I am not sure if I'll snap if someone come and tell me the same thing again. 

I am not that superstitious and I never thought much about my life when being calculated. I remember most fortune tellers/fengshui master says I have a very blessed life, even the meaning of the Chinese name said so. But what am I today? See, talk about maids can talk until here. I am sure this is not digression. It's just interconnected.

I remember I posted on Instagram not too long ago on a family picture of 4. I said it's a happy family. Yes, we are. But reality in life is such that it doesn't stop there because you need to go beyond that. 

Ok a lot of time to write because my mum called me at 12am right after I finally fell asleep sitting up. So wide awake now.

My son, right now, head rested on my thighs. My tailbone hurting badly right now but physical pain is always bearable if you know what I mean. 

Poor son woke up many times crying. Many reasons I know but specifically which reasons that affecting him most? Regression? Teething? Change in home environment? Lack of day naps? I wish I know. I know I wouldn't know so I suck it up and deal with it. 

Just when I am about to end this post, my son rolled himself out of me. Yeah. I can lie down finally.... At the edge of bed that he left for me. Thanks ah. Good night! Going for fish shopping in the morning. How exciting. 

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Olivia - 38 months 3 weeks 3 days
Owen - 11 months 1 day 

Dear son, 

This post came late, again. When u turned 11 month old, I experienced for the 2nd time bringing you both out to the pd alone and then settled both of your lunches packed from home. That also explained why I was busy yesterday. 

Actually bringing both of you the same time ain't that difficult but your sister is a ticking bomb. I don't when will she start her weird behavior. Luckily, she was all ok. She even fed herself lunch while you, simply distracted by passerby. 

This month teething woes. You bit my nips for 2 weeks and you finally cut your upper tooth at 11 month 1 day. On some very bad days, you peak your crankiness. U will roll urself over me, cried to be down when I carried you and when I wasn't carrying you, you wanted to be carried. You cried while you were cruising halfway and cried while crawling. Those days you worn me out.

You gave me hope when you started to stop your outburst. You assured me you hadn't forgotten your routine, where we have been trying for the longest time. You showed me you needed nap not in my arms but on the bed (this breaks my heart actually). You slept for longer stretch at night and once you only woke up at 6am. However the past week, we are back to "latch and let go" through the night. Man, it was tiring!

Now we are less than a month to your big 1. So let's countdown!

Your mummy 

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Olivia - 38 months 3 weeks
Owen - 10 months 4 weeks

My dear son. I am starting to lose count of the number of times he fell off from bed. The first time was when he was 4 months plus old and till now we have no idea how he squirmed out of his way to the floor without moving the fortress around him. The last time he fell off was on Thursday. I ran out to the kitchen to unpack a packet of biscuits and that few minutes, he was found on the floor crying his lungs out. As a result, there was a blue black mark on his forehead. Sigh.

Just on Tuesday, his morning nap... Despite so much effort to glue my eyes on the baby monitor while preparing lunch, i must have been blind, deaf or the baby monitor failed me... Thank god and all when I opened the door, I found him on the floor playing and when he saw me he laughed. I guess he didn't suffer a fall right? 

He had learnt to climb down the bed proper long time ago but somehow after realising that diving out is more fun, things have gone dangerous. It was only the last Sunday, I repeatedly went through the correct way with him. Whenever he attempted to dive down, I say "Owen, please show mummy how to get down of the bed?". Surprise! He understood and from then on, he could come down proper but that fateful day he must have been in daze state after a nap. Hence, the fall. 

Attempted to read a book to him but it never lasted 1 minute because he will snatch the book from me. 

Every nap takes lots of efforts still because after all the latching that had satisfy his hunger, he will be up on his feet and repeat *99 times. If not, he will try his best to crawl out of the bed. Lots of wrestling before a nap. When I lose my patience, I grabbed him, made him lie on me and he struggled to get out of me. I need to give him a "scolding" and he had to cry to sleep.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Olivia - 38 months 2 weeks 1 day
Owen - 10 months 3 weeks 1 day

My daughter did an abrupt stop on our way to the carpark from a party that just ended. She asked me to take a picture of her and she started posing, finding a place to stand and started to run towards me when being asked to. Ah huh... Easy request. I am more than happy to snap pictures for you, my dear gal. 

My daughter loves music and dance. Seriously, I should not think too much and to sign her up quickly for such classes. Ok, let's do it tmr after the brother is done napping for the day. 

She was dancing in front of the large mirror while I was trying clothes. When we walked past mirrors, she stopped to look at herself. My little vainpot. She grabbed lots of clothes to the fitting room and we tried to hide half the stash of clothes with the fitting room station and brought half in and then, took another half out and proceed to the cashier. Did I mention Frozen Disney overdose as well? 

Last Friday night I went out to get some food for the brother's meals. She didn't want to follow but regretted so I waited in the car for her to come down and the first thing she asked me if her top matches her bottom??? Haha. Most times when she chooses her own clothes she will seek my opinion too. My little grown up has... grown up a little again.