Olivia & Owen Fok

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Saturday, July 01, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 3 months 3 weeks 4 days
Owen - 2 years 1 day

First day of July. It means half of year had gone. Due to lack of updates I have lost some bit and pieces of the things happened earlier the part of the year.

As a summary of what I remember:

1) My father was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. We struggled and things still hasn't turned for the better to-date.
2) Owen started school and while I struggled if I had placed him early I realized it was one of the best decision because after crying for 5 months, he's enjoying so much better now.
3) Both kiddos were hospitalized and during this difficult time, I was coping with my father's condition and hb was away for work.
4) We went to Melbourne and I always thought we could have done it better. I would want to go back Melbourne again seriously. 
5) Oli turned 4, had 2 themed parties at home and in school and a memorable (to me at least) one by the lake at Grampians.
6) We made grand plans in May and its materializing real soon. Never in my life had I (the hb actually) been so daring actually. Mid July, it is. 
7) Owen turned 2 yesterday. We did a celebration with close friends last Sunday and cut a cake among us yesterday. 

Ok so my memory bank had the above 7 events that happened first half of 2017. I really don't know if I had missed out any significant stuff. 

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 3 months 1 week 4 days
Owen - 23 months 2 weeks 4 days

Ever since the app has been giving me endless problems with uploading entries, I have been writing less. Also, I have lost the momentum to keep writing. Can't believe that I did not write anything about oli turning 4, their monthly updates and more on our Melbourne holiday. 

Anyway, we are ending half of 2017 in less than a month and it's gonna end with Owen turning 2! I really felt it wasn't too long that we were busy prepping his first birthday bash. Here we are, prepping his 2nd birthday celebration. It's gonna be a small affair. Not exactly small because families have expanded. Hence, we can no longer do it at home. The first to question me of coz it's oli, she says in that case (that Owen has a party outside home) she's turning 5 in July. I have to constantly remind her that hers was a special celebration held in The Grampians, by the lake. So unique right!!!! Hahaha

Owen have also finally settled down in school. On random days, he still cries for me. These days he started to send me off by saying bye to me. I am so happy for him, for myself too actually. 

There's really nothing much in this early half of 2017. I don't know how each day passes because I realized I have been constantly running errands, bringing my father to doctor, meeting friends for breakfast, tea, lunches etc. Lately I have picked up long walks at botanical and sometimes a quick run too after dropping the kids. I tried to walk to the school when I pick oli provided it ain't too sunny. I don't think I will lose much of those weight that had piled on me but at least I am keeping myself active outdoors. At least. 

The next half of 2017 is gonna be very exciting. We made a very big decision to get out of comfort zone. I will be working, with flexible hours such that I can send the kids for enrichment classes. Really, don't ask me what will I be working till details are finalized. I just need to get the kids out of the house earlier and most days we have been rather successful. I want to be able to exercise, to work and not compromising any of the the kids' time. I am looking forward to how I can manage this all. Currently, I am pretty exhausted, built up from the lack of sleep still, driving the kids around like an unpaid uber/grab driver. Even the school cleaner says "你一天来几次”。Owen will start off some full days, partly to wean him off and let him gain more independence. I am upset, mainly because he's my last baby. I wanna spend my time with him but I really need to let him go and explore the independence the world that he needs other than me. I know one day when he's officially weaned off, my heart will break even though I very much want to wean him off already. That's for second half of 2017 - really to wean him. 

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days
Owen - 22 months 3 days

Our life so far... after a live in helper

I was hesitant to get another maid after our previous maid left because I have been managing most of the things myself actually. Looking back, clearly it was good (not best) to have 1. I wouldn't say best because no matter what we will survive somehow. I was so numb to exhaustion then that even the sky falls on me I would take it to my stride. Seriously.

My current helper is quite a blur f la. If not for the fact that I am still at home, taking care of the kids myself mainly I wouldn't have her today already. She's still ok in general so I didn't think of changing her till I almost gave her a final ultimatum on her "unbelievable forgetfulness" after so many months. The kids love to play with her while I sleep in for half an hr more after the kids woke up in the morning. This helps a lot. The kids seldom give problems during breakfast so I do not need to monitor very closely. I do miss times when Olivia prepared my breakfast plates, waiting to have breakfast with me though. 

Oli is still a very jealousy sister. This is the main reason why I think having a maid is relatively important. I don't let guilt eats me up because I don't want to waste my time sulking over that. Instead I have always been thinking what I should do to make both kids feel fair enough when it comes to getting my attention. I know the sister has been trying very hard to have all of me and it was hard during Owen's first year. With a maid, I can leave Owen while I pick oli from school and to send her to enrichment classes myself. Soon, like now she misses her brother and she asked for him all the time, if he has bathe or eaten or slept. I can bring her to her classmates' parties on weekends myself too! Like the Disney on Ice, its a mother and daughter time spent meaningfully too. 

The maid took over from me by cooking his meals (ahh, hb can't cook!), carried him to nap while waiting for me to rush home although for the past 8 months, the maid did such for less than 5 times. It's still very stressful for me to have things that happens during his nap time. He still latches to sleep btw! Like a few sat ago, we had hens party for the sch principal and I am already, omg how am I going to leave the kids behind!?!? For some, the hb can take over the job but after 5 days of working hard at work, I would like the daddy to enjoy his weekend and bond through playing rather than just meeting their needs. Actually I think I pamper my hb too much also la. Haha. 

I didn't know this is a great help to overcome the sister's jealousy. Even if the sister is not jealous of her brother, I would think such an arrangement gives lots of mummy-daughter time. As for Owen, he had me for 18 months by himself and since he started school, he has me for his nap till the sister comes home. He sleeps with me as well. I think when it comes to giving equal or rather fair attention, and to be honest I have done it well? 

There are small little things that no one can understand. Like my mum, she said since I am not working why should I hire help. That's also the reason why my mum never really offer help when my previous walked out of us suddenly and even when we couldn't extend my confinement nanny. She said that I must have forced my hb to do housewrk that's why he wanted a maid. I already said I pamper my hb. Didn't I? She said i should not spend the time with the kids and to do housewrk instead. So wrong! I quit my job to do housewrk? You must be kidding me! 

It's also the small little things that enhanced our lifestyle with a helper around. I always think I can do things all by myself. Yes I can, but at the expense of the kids' time? So never say no to extra help really, especially when the kids are small and of close age gap. 

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 2 weeks 2 days
Owen - 20 months 3 weeks 2 days

Why there won't be no.3?

I thought when having both gal and boy people will stop asking me if I am gonna have a 3rd one. When I announced Owen's gender, one of my friends congratulated me by saying "with a boy now, no one's gonna ask if you gonna try for a 3rd one". Aiyo, so wrong. People still asked.

Ok why huh:
1) No money because me stopped working for so long already. 
2) No space. I see the amount of mess everyday I nearly gone bonkers. One more kid means more mess. I cannot. Aunty here don't stay in landed.
3) No energy. Hitting 35 this year and Owen basically zaps every energy I have. 
4) No help. I usually like to care for my kids myself. I am hands on. By having a third one means I gonna be so busied with a newborn and neglect the bigger ones.
5) No baby stuff. Me is counting down the things to give away already. Nothing left for a 3rd baby. 
6) No love. Love knows no boundaries but I think I have set a boundary by loving just my hb and my 2 kids for now. Coz I know... love is heavy. 

Why am I quite sure also was because I dreamt I was pregnant with a 3rd one and so much resentment ok. Then when I woke up I am like, HENG ah! Not pregnant! Also, when I see newborns, cute is cute la, miss is miss la, but sorry no la. Really cannot. They didn't "moved" my ovaries. Thank god. 

So if one day I decided to be crazy and have a 3rd one, I clearly must have forgotten the above. I clearly must be so crazy. Hahahaha

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 2 weeks
Owen - 20 months 3 weeks

Hello March 2017! A bit late...

Because it's already 21st. February was a chaotic month, shortest month of all and yet it felt so long. So long because some days I was battling wars on my own. Battling wars alone is tiring. Nonetheless it was over and March is here. 

March was actually not very kind because my son spent the first day having diarrhea in Melbourne. Seriously! 

A series of unfortunate events that happened during our holiday:

1) Owen started food strike the moment we were on the plane. He was munching my chiffon cake before flying off and it didn't cross my mind he would be starting any food strike that soon. 

2) Olivia recorded first meltdown in the plane the moment the plane was getting ready for landing and the stewardess couldn't pacify her and had to give me an infant seatbelt to secure her. Hence, Owen cried his lungs out when I had to pass him to his father. Worst landing ever. 

3) We reached our airbnb almost midnight and also realized Owen was down with a fever. Fever broke in the morning and came back only at night. Weird fever. Then it never came back.

4) Olivia had fever, only at night for 2 nights. All was well then. Weird too! 

5) Our camera lens decided to play a trick on us at Brighton Beach. We had to spend 500plus to get a new one.

6) As Owen's food strike progressed, it got me a little crazy because I don't want another hospitalization episode. Went a little crazy more because the weather was terribly hot. Then even more because Oli was having tantrums throwing pretty often. Then, my mum's non-constructive feedback didn't help. 

7) Owen fell off from a very high bed with a loud thud. If anyone says I have mum with me during holiday helps a lot, why I don't feel so? She didn't want to be actively taking care of the kids even when both of us were gobbling our dinner down to our stomach. While we both assumed she was helping out, she didn't. The kids were playing by themselves on the bed, hence, the fall. There were many incidents also. I know I don't have cooperative kids but I need an extra pair of eyes on them. But I was grateful of her to come up with the soup that Owen eventually drank, preparing sunny side up most of the mornings for oli because..... my mum always think that helping = cooking but it didn't wrk this way for me because I can cook too.

8) Hubby was sick. So sick that he needed to see a doctor. Owen seen a doctor too. To me, seeing a doctor while holiday-ing means it's very serious ok!

If you ask me if I wanna do all these again, I will still say yes la! Have kids is like that one mah. Actually not necessary because our friends who went the same time with us, doesn't have kids problems like us. Anyways, no more holidays this year because can't keep going as money is limited, hb's wrk is busy. He's right now in Sydney. Seriously, aussie overdosed for him. 

I told oli I am going Sydney with daddy she said cannot because aunty (our maid) cannot cook her dinner. Lol. Anyways I still can't bear to leave the kids behind. Even I do, my kids won't allow too. If anyone asks me, oh actually a lot asked me already, about the situation that we are in (sticky kids)... I am seriously fine. It's not like we didn't enjoy ourselves before we had kids. We clocked so many cities around the world as much as we could ok! Couple time is essential but I believe we will get better as they grow older, hopefully. 

Right now, nothing much to look forward. Hubby asked me what to do for Owen's bdae. I am like huh? I have a lot of ideas one, just that my ideas are kinda expensive one. Hahahaha. Maybe really need to think soon. 

Monday, February 13, 2017

Olivia - 47 months 6 days
Owen - 19 months 1 week 6 days 

I think I skipped the last monthly update. Might as well. Not that there's no significant events that happened, there were just that I am not sure where do I get it started. 

CNY. Usually we are not overly hyped because my in laws are not around, my relatives are mostly in Malaysia and we usually have simple non traditional CNY. Where most feasted on day 1, we have simple vegetarian meal prepared by yours truly. My sil took over on the second day with simple one dish meals also. Now, I can't rem what we did for day 3. I think we went to temple. 

Then, we made a very last minute decision to go Malaysia to visit my sick grandpa. Decided around 3pm, booked a private driver at 5pm and the next morning 5am off we went on a 8hour road trip. Why can't they increase the flight out to Ipoh? We stayed for 2 nights, hubby changed his Greece flight from Monday 120am to Tuesday 120am. When we got back on Monday evening, hubby had to pack for the next trip. Tiring it was. 

Just when I thought life is back to normal because I was thinking if I should go for a facial or what... Owen had fits in school. I was with Olivia and my family for breakfast. My knees went weak but brain could think proper. I called the clinic right away to expect me in an hour's time. I reached the school and Owen was laid sideways and the teacher was fanning him. When he finally cried, it meant a good thing means he was well enough to cry. It took me an hour to make him go into the car seat. Latched and tried repeat duno how many times. When he finally slept on the boobs I tried to transfer him but he stirred. After an hour I had to force him in and we made our way to the clinic. 

The pd called the respective doctors, the nurses tried to check for beds and Owen's pulse was taken. We went home supposedly to pack but Owen fell asleep for 2hours. In between, I wasn't sure to inform hubby because he's miles away but he ought to know. When he sent a message to ask about Owen's diarrhea, I got him to call me. I assured him things were alright because Owen really seemed to be better. Ching bought lunch for me and sent us to the hospital. While in the midst of processing the admission, the school called to say Olivia was vomiting. Clear headed as I was, the first thing was to call my pd. Pd said to send her to A&E since there's no one to take care of her. Part of the reason why I was calm was because I had Ching with me and my pd could make decisions for me. Ching settled Oli at the A&E while I went on to settle the ward and arrange Owen's drip to be started. Meanwhile, my pd called hubby to assure him that things were okay and she made her way to the hospital to see how were we doing. She came with toys for the kids and thankfully the toys kept them very well entertained. 

Every single thing from the drip to be administered for both, to feeding, to medication was a struggle. To be able to give the right amount of attention to both kids at the same time was even tougher. Struggle is real, every other thing was not important anymore. Exhaustion isn't something worth mentioning at all. When we were finally discharged after 2 nights, it meant another struggle because who is going to pin them down for me to feed that awful antibiotics? Miraculously, they were so cooperative. So rare. 

Our pd was very wonderful, really wonderful. She even made a trip down to the school to do a site visit and talked to the teachers who saw Owen collapsed. 

That pretty summed up an eventful cny. 

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Olivia - 46 months 3 weeks 1 day
Owen - 18 months 4 weeks 1 day

So so so lack of updates and missed oli's last monthly update. Today is 2nd day of CNY already. January, the new month to kickstart 2017 was a pretty scary one. There were a few bad news in the family. I am trying very hard holding up actually. Life, as it is, has to go on. 

With Oli turning 4 in March, I have started asking her about her likes for her birthday cakes because she's so fickle minded. From Sophia to Frozen to Peppa pig, she can't make up her mind. 

Oli has started her berries classes as well. On her first day, I sat in for 10mins and she was doing so well independently. 2nd lesson, she was hesitant to go, she wanted me to stay with her but the moment she reached the class, she ran in!?!? 3rd lesson she cried for a while (built up from the jealousy saga - let's talk later). The 4th one she said she doesn't like to go because she doesn't have any friends there. Despite all these, her mandarin has actually improved. Other than the weird accent, she has been talking about what she has learnt. I take it that she's fine with going Berries. 

Jealousy saga. With Owen started half day school, she wanted to go home mid day. She started throwing tantrums and the school feedback that she doesn't feel good when I picked Owen from school early. I seldom has this mummy guilt for any lack of attention given to either kids and when the owner told me that she knows oli well because she raised her up as well....that moment I knew I failed terribly as a mum. How can I not know? How can I take things for granted on my barely 4 year old daughter? 

As a result of these jealousy, she lost interest in school, Berries and her ballet. She said she never like school, never like Chinese lessons, never like ballet. She wants to stay at home with mummy. Omg. I brought her out once on 1 to 1 while Owen was in school. She was better afterwards but didn't last long and I don't want her to expect that to happen often. I was also busy with some personal stuff as well. At the same time, she needed to learn to manage the situation with my help of coz. Hence I also tried to pick her up from school without Owen and give her more attention during dinner time since Owen has early dinner. So far that's all I could do and not sure if I am doing it right. Sigh. 

Anyways, I am always trying very hard. Trying very hard to give in to her when it's ok to give in, trying to spend more time with her, trying to talk to her about how high need Owen is and basically, trying every single time.