Olivia & Owen Fok

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Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Olivia - 5 years and 2 weeks
Owen - 2 years 8 months and 2 weeks

First post in 2018. Gosh, Olivia is already 5 years old and my last post was 6 months ago. Have been procrastinating much in writing because the app has been giving me a lot of problems. I wonder who writes diligently these days because I have stopped reading blogs too? For a while, I was still reading Dayre but it's closing down soon and so eventually I think at this rate I will stop reading altogether. 

I considered WordPress and tried a post there its app seemed to working fine but it takes lots of courage to completely give up my current reading & writing space. I doubt anyone reads here and even my closer friends didn't know such a space exist. I write mainly for my own sake or my kids who might get to read them? 

For some effort's sake, that tracker up there in this blog has now been updated. 

2018 started off with losing a dear friend. Someone who documented our different phases/milestones in life. It has been 3 months and I have sort of come to terms of her death and the only regret was, we missed the last family photoshoot with her. My last gift to her didn't reach on time but it serves as a purpose in her last journey in life. In her wake, I sobbed so hard when her last letter was read. I can't remember when was the last time I cried so hard. Accepting death is so difficult. 

As with life moves on, it really did. After mourning for a few days, my kids have adapted their new school well. So well that I really need to scold myself from worrying too much. It took Owen less than 2 weeks to adapt as compared to the previous school, it took a total 5 months for him to not cry @ drop off. He's older now and with a better school that helped him to adapt so much faster. Olivia took me by surprise. She was so good and 2 weeks after the start of the school term, I received a call from her English teacher that Olivia is a fast adapting kid and her knowledge on her English phonics is impressive also. With everything in place till date, I am so happy :) 

Let me think if I will be moving on to WordPress :p

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 6 months 2 weeks 3 days
Owen - 2 years 2 months 3 weeks 3 days

Say hello to the almost ending 3rd quarter of the 2017. Where did the updates go? We have been pretty busy with our grand plan and things are still falling in place. As such my usual mundane life has been rather exciting lately. 

I am not sure what's the right word to use here. As in, I feel very happy now because I get to work (albeit on a much lower remuneration) which means, I get to have a proper lunch with friends and hubby. I still get to bring my kids for enrichment classes on weekdays. I still get to put them to bed, do some activities before bed time. I still get to take one or two days morning off to do some exercise or wet marketing. Sometimes I get to cook. What more can I ask for? Isn't that what I want?

Saturday, July 01, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 3 months 3 weeks 4 days
Owen - 2 years 1 day

First day of July. It means half of year had gone. Due to lack of updates I have lost some bit and pieces of the things happened earlier the part of the year.

As a summary of what I remember:

1) My father was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. We struggled and things still hasn't turned for the better to-date.
2) Owen started school and while I struggled if I had placed him early I realized it was one of the best decision because after crying for 5 months, he's enjoying so much better now.
3) Both kiddos were hospitalized and during this difficult time, I was coping with my father's condition and hb was away for work.
4) We went to Melbourne and I always thought we could have done it better. I would want to go back Melbourne again seriously. 
5) Oli turned 4, had 2 themed parties at home and in school and a memorable (to me at least) one by the lake at Grampians.
6) We made grand plans in May and its materializing real soon. Never in my life had I (the hb actually) been so daring actually. Mid July, it is. 
7) Owen turned 2 yesterday. We did a celebration with close friends last Sunday and cut a cake among us yesterday. 

Ok so my memory bank had the above 7 events that happened first half of 2017. I really don't know if I had missed out any significant stuff. 

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 3 months 1 week 4 days
Owen - 23 months 2 weeks 4 days

Ever since the app has been giving me endless problems with uploading entries, I have been writing less. Also, I have lost the momentum to keep writing. Can't believe that I did not write anything about oli turning 4, their monthly updates and more on our Melbourne holiday. 

Anyway, we are ending half of 2017 in less than a month and it's gonna end with Owen turning 2! I really felt it wasn't too long that we were busy prepping his first birthday bash. Here we are, prepping his 2nd birthday celebration. It's gonna be a small affair. Not exactly small because families have expanded. Hence, we can no longer do it at home. The first to question me of coz it's oli, she says in that case (that Owen has a party outside home) she's turning 5 in July. I have to constantly remind her that hers was a special celebration held in The Grampians, by the lake. So unique right!!!! Hahaha

Owen have also finally settled down in school. On random days, he still cries for me. These days he started to send me off by saying bye to me. I am so happy for him, for myself too actually. 

There's really nothing much in this early half of 2017. I don't know how each day passes because I realized I have been constantly running errands, bringing my father to doctor, meeting friends for breakfast, tea, lunches etc. Lately I have picked up long walks at botanical and sometimes a quick run too after dropping the kids. I tried to walk to the school when I pick oli provided it ain't too sunny. I don't think I will lose much of those weight that had piled on me but at least I am keeping myself active outdoors. At least. 

The next half of 2017 is gonna be very exciting. We made a very big decision to get out of comfort zone. I will be working, with flexible hours such that I can send the kids for enrichment classes. Really, don't ask me what will I be working till details are finalized. I just need to get the kids out of the house earlier and most days we have been rather successful. I want to be able to exercise, to work and not compromising any of the the kids' time. I am looking forward to how I can manage this all. Currently, I am pretty exhausted, built up from the lack of sleep still, driving the kids around like an unpaid uber/grab driver. Even the school cleaner says "你一天来几次”。Owen will start off some full days, partly to wean him off and let him gain more independence. I am upset, mainly because he's my last baby. I wanna spend my time with him but I really need to let him go and explore the independence the world that he needs other than me. I know one day when he's officially weaned off, my heart will break even though I very much want to wean him off already. That's for second half of 2017 - really to wean him. 

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days
Owen - 22 months 3 days

Our life so far... after a live in helper

I was hesitant to get another maid after our previous maid left because I have been managing most of the things myself actually. Looking back, clearly it was good (not best) to have 1. I wouldn't say best because no matter what we will survive somehow. I was so numb to exhaustion then that even the sky falls on me I would take it to my stride. Seriously.

My current helper is quite a blur f la. If not for the fact that I am still at home, taking care of the kids myself mainly I wouldn't have her today already. She's still ok in general so I didn't think of changing her till I almost gave her a final ultimatum on her "unbelievable forgetfulness" after so many months. The kids love to play with her while I sleep in for half an hr more after the kids woke up in the morning. This helps a lot. The kids seldom give problems during breakfast so I do not need to monitor very closely. I do miss times when Olivia prepared my breakfast plates, waiting to have breakfast with me though. 

Oli is still a very jealousy sister. This is the main reason why I think having a maid is relatively important. I don't let guilt eats me up because I don't want to waste my time sulking over that. Instead I have always been thinking what I should do to make both kids feel fair enough when it comes to getting my attention. I know the sister has been trying very hard to have all of me and it was hard during Owen's first year. With a maid, I can leave Owen while I pick oli from school and to send her to enrichment classes myself. Soon, like now she misses her brother and she asked for him all the time, if he has bathe or eaten or slept. I can bring her to her classmates' parties on weekends myself too! Like the Disney on Ice, its a mother and daughter time spent meaningfully too. 

The maid took over from me by cooking his meals (ahh, hb can't cook!), carried him to nap while waiting for me to rush home although for the past 8 months, the maid did such for less than 5 times. It's still very stressful for me to have things that happens during his nap time. He still latches to sleep btw! Like a few sat ago, we had hens party for the sch principal and I am already, omg how am I going to leave the kids behind!?!? For some, the hb can take over the job but after 5 days of working hard at work, I would like the daddy to enjoy his weekend and bond through playing rather than just meeting their needs. Actually I think I pamper my hb too much also la. Haha. 

I didn't know this is a great help to overcome the sister's jealousy. Even if the sister is not jealous of her brother, I would think such an arrangement gives lots of mummy-daughter time. As for Owen, he had me for 18 months by himself and since he started school, he has me for his nap till the sister comes home. He sleeps with me as well. I think when it comes to giving equal or rather fair attention, and to be honest I have done it well? 

There are small little things that no one can understand. Like my mum, she said since I am not working why should I hire help. That's also the reason why my mum never really offer help when my previous walked out of us suddenly and even when we couldn't extend my confinement nanny. She said that I must have forced my hb to do housewrk that's why he wanted a maid. I already said I pamper my hb. Didn't I? She said i should not spend the time with the kids and to do housewrk instead. So wrong! I quit my job to do housewrk? You must be kidding me! 

It's also the small little things that enhanced our lifestyle with a helper around. I always think I can do things all by myself. Yes I can, but at the expense of the kids' time? So never say no to extra help really, especially when the kids are small and of close age gap. 

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 2 weeks 2 days
Owen - 20 months 3 weeks 2 days

Why there won't be no.3?

I thought when having both gal and boy people will stop asking me if I am gonna have a 3rd one. When I announced Owen's gender, one of my friends congratulated me by saying "with a boy now, no one's gonna ask if you gonna try for a 3rd one". Aiyo, so wrong. People still asked.

Ok why huh:
1) No money because me stopped working for so long already. 
2) No space. I see the amount of mess everyday I nearly gone bonkers. One more kid means more mess. I cannot. Aunty here don't stay in landed.
3) No energy. Hitting 35 this year and Owen basically zaps every energy I have. 
4) No help. I usually like to care for my kids myself. I am hands on. By having a third one means I gonna be so busied with a newborn and neglect the bigger ones.
5) No baby stuff. Me is counting down the things to give away already. Nothing left for a 3rd baby. 
6) No love. Love knows no boundaries but I think I have set a boundary by loving just my hb and my 2 kids for now. Coz I know... love is heavy. 

Why am I quite sure also was because I dreamt I was pregnant with a 3rd one and so much resentment ok. Then when I woke up I am like, HENG ah! Not pregnant! Also, when I see newborns, cute is cute la, miss is miss la, but sorry no la. Really cannot. They didn't "moved" my ovaries. Thank god. 

So if one day I decided to be crazy and have a 3rd one, I clearly must have forgotten the above. I clearly must be so crazy. Hahahaha

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Olivia - 4 years 2 weeks
Owen - 20 months 3 weeks

Hello March 2017! A bit late...

Because it's already 21st. February was a chaotic month, shortest month of all and yet it felt so long. So long because some days I was battling wars on my own. Battling wars alone is tiring. Nonetheless it was over and March is here. 

March was actually not very kind because my son spent the first day having diarrhea in Melbourne. Seriously! 

A series of unfortunate events that happened during our holiday:

1) Owen started food strike the moment we were on the plane. He was munching my chiffon cake before flying off and it didn't cross my mind he would be starting any food strike that soon. 

2) Olivia recorded first meltdown in the plane the moment the plane was getting ready for landing and the stewardess couldn't pacify her and had to give me an infant seatbelt to secure her. Hence, Owen cried his lungs out when I had to pass him to his father. Worst landing ever. 

3) We reached our airbnb almost midnight and also realized Owen was down with a fever. Fever broke in the morning and came back only at night. Weird fever. Then it never came back.

4) Olivia had fever, only at night for 2 nights. All was well then. Weird too! 

5) Our camera lens decided to play a trick on us at Brighton Beach. We had to spend 500plus to get a new one.

6) As Owen's food strike progressed, it got me a little crazy because I don't want another hospitalization episode. Went a little crazy more because the weather was terribly hot. Then even more because Oli was having tantrums throwing pretty often. Then, my mum's non-constructive feedback didn't help. 

7) Owen fell off from a very high bed with a loud thud. If anyone says I have mum with me during holiday helps a lot, why I don't feel so? She didn't want to be actively taking care of the kids even when both of us were gobbling our dinner down to our stomach. While we both assumed she was helping out, she didn't. The kids were playing by themselves on the bed, hence, the fall. There were many incidents also. I know I don't have cooperative kids but I need an extra pair of eyes on them. But I was grateful of her to come up with the soup that Owen eventually drank, preparing sunny side up most of the mornings for oli because..... my mum always think that helping = cooking but it didn't wrk this way for me because I can cook too.

8) Hubby was sick. So sick that he needed to see a doctor. Owen seen a doctor too. To me, seeing a doctor while holiday-ing means it's very serious ok!

If you ask me if I wanna do all these again, I will still say yes la! Have kids is like that one mah. Actually not necessary because our friends who went the same time with us, doesn't have kids problems like us. Anyways, no more holidays this year because can't keep going as money is limited, hb's wrk is busy. He's right now in Sydney. Seriously, aussie overdosed for him. 

I told oli I am going Sydney with daddy she said cannot because aunty (our maid) cannot cook her dinner. Lol. Anyways I still can't bear to leave the kids behind. Even I do, my kids won't allow too. If anyone asks me, oh actually a lot asked me already, about the situation that we are in (sticky kids)... I am seriously fine. It's not like we didn't enjoy ourselves before we had kids. We clocked so many cities around the world as much as we could ok! Couple time is essential but I believe we will get better as they grow older, hopefully. 

Right now, nothing much to look forward. Hubby asked me what to do for Owen's bdae. I am like huh? I have a lot of ideas one, just that my ideas are kinda expensive one. Hahahaha. Maybe really need to think soon.